


Come With Me (Lapidot)

by liveandlove1989



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, POV Third Person, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-06 10:26:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10332551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveandlove1989/pseuds/liveandlove1989
Summary: Mistakes were inconceivable. They didn't exist. Because to be anything less that perfect was to be a failure, and to be a failure meant absolute disappointment and resent from her mother. So Peridot never stepped forth from normalcy. To do so would be inviting the inevitable newness of unknowing.Until Lapis Lazuli blew into town. Until that beautiful, cold, stubborn girl stepped into her life, bringing uncertainty. But she also brought something else: acceptance. Something Peridot had never experienced, something she strongly doubted the existence of.Then, there was only one small problem. Peridot had to learn to accept herself before she could possibly accept another.(If there's anything too serious in a chapter, there will be an individual chapter warning, giving you the option to read or not) (Please, if there's anything you don't agree with don't be snide or report. Just stop reading. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but please be nice about it) Thanks!





	1. Chapter One

Her fingers ran along the black and white keys delicately, barely pressing them down as she silently hummed the melody. Her mother's eyes bore into the side of her head, nerves being ignited in the pit of her stomach. She knew what she was doing. But that look made her so uneasy.

She chanced a glance over, not even turning her head, just her eyes. A look of content eased the lines from her mother's face, and though yellow-green irises burned into her, it seemed her mentor's mind was drifting. She nearly snorted in annoyance.

There it was. The trickiest part of this composure. Her fingers sped up naturally, eyes gluing back onto the sheets of music. Her brows furrowed as she focused with everything she was.

Only to misstep, and hit the wrong key.

Her motions stilled as that sharp note rang out, echoing into empty silence that sounded hollow and piercing at the exact same time. Her whole body froze up, fear lapping at the bottom of her chest and sending a shiver through her spine. She was waiting, waiting...

And there it was.

Her mother slapped the heavy wooden casing down over the keys half a second after she'd jerked her hands back. "Wrong!" that sharp voice screamed into her ear, making her coil inwardly. She winced and hung her head in utter shame.

"We've been over this same piece for days!" the voice screeched, anger lacing each syllable, "And yet you still fail to complete it! Why, Peridot? Why must you be so, so, so... incompetent?!"

What made it worse was the tears that threatened to fall, pressing at the backs of her eyes. It made her twitch and swallow loudly, only strengthening her mother's rage. A hand came harshly, bringing with it a stinging that spread from the back of her neck onward. Her glasses slipped from her nose and hit the wood with a resonating "tink".

"I-I'm sorry, mother. I'm trying-"

"Not nearly enough!"

She winced away from those words, lowering her head even more, hoping beyond hope her mother would just send her away. She didn't want to play anymore. She didn't want to be chastised anymore. She didn't want to be here anymore.

Rubbing her temples, her mother turned away and breathed through her nose. Her shoulders shook with pent up anger, and her stance was so stiff it appeared painful. "Just go," she breathed.

There it was. The only thing that saved her. Peridot snatched her glasses and ran. Up the stairs, down the hall, through her door. As much as she wanted to slam it, she simply shut and locked it tightly. The last thing she needed was another reason to be lectured.

Her sea of blankets engulfed the sobbing, shaking form that fell down into them, pillow being pulled in tight and curled around. She punched it, bit at the edges, threw it weakly then embraced it again. It brought a sick sense of comfort that she couldn't get any other way.

Her neck still hurt as her hand caressed it numbly, eyes still dripped pain as she sniffled and sat up. She pushed the wire rimmed glasses back up onto a slick nose and brought up her knees, hugging them to her chest. She felt alone but defiant, empty but stubborn. But she could no more do anything about that than she could stand up to her mother, who even now she could here downstairs, vacuuming.

Seething, even as she cried, she pushed herself from the mattress and crossed her tiny room in four steps. The window came up when she shimmied it, and with a deep breath she squirmed out. There was a drainpipe right by her window that, if she was careful, she could slide down. She was small enough for that, both in size and posture.

And it worked. The second her feet hit the manicured lawn, she was running.

* * *

Children laughed and yelled at one another, ducking in between equipment and building within the enormous sandbox. She watched them, finding comfort in their naïveté and bittersweet non-understandings. It was everything she wanted. Everything she couldn't have.

"You look a little young for kids, P-dot," a voice cut into her thoughts, breaking her from her trance like interest. She looked up and over the back of the bench to find Amethyst, one of her only friends, standing there.

"Oh, hey, Amethyst."

The comforting smile her friend always adorned slipped, violet eyes switching gear from hearty to knowing. "Oh, rough day, huh?"

Peridot looked away, back out to the kids. How she wished she could be as free-willed and excitable as them. Even her own childhood had been... less that ideal.

"You could say that.... What brings you here?"

The girl rolled her shoulders, shaking her head. She slipped round the bench to sit beside Peridot. "Eh, nothing really. Pearl had some family event and Ruby and Sapphire have a date tonight. So, I'm as single as a pringle right now. You?"

Peridot shook her own head, running fingers through loose blonde hair. Her eyes momentarily closed, and when she dared to open them again Amethyst was staring her down. She subconsciously winced and looked elsewhere.

"I had to get out... The show is in less than a month and my mother is just... She's pushing so hard. I don't think I can do it, Amethyst."

There were the tears. God, she was such a cry baby! Maybe that explained her short stature. She blinked them back and made sure her hair was more or less covering the view to her face. Otherwise, she'd have to explain further, and she desperately did not want that. Her life was Hell enough without everyone knowing the whole truth.

The girl beside her inched closer, throwing a gently arm around her shoulders. "Hey, P-dot. It's not all bad. You've got me." She paused a moment, as if to let that sink in, before the smile returned to her face and she found herself standing and ushering up a rapidly blinking Peridot. "Tell you what, why don't we head back to my place? I just got the latest Smash Bros and I know someone who needs their butt kicked." She said it teasingly, even throwing in an elbow nudge.

Peridot rolled her eyes. That did sound fun though... She hadn't relaxed and played a couple video games in ages. But if her mother found out... She shuddered to even consider the course of action that would take.

Whatever. She wasn't prepared at all to head back home. If her mother realized she'd snuck out, that was that. She'd deal with whatever came her way then.

Now, however...

She smirked, crossing her arms even as she sniffled. "You're on, Amethyst. Whoever wins has to buy the other lunch for the next week. Deal?"

Amethyst grinned from ear to ear as she spit on her hand and held it out. "You're so going down, girl!"

Peridot chuckled and accepted the gross, but normal, action. "In your dreams."


	2. Chapter Two

She awoke with something pressed against her, pinning her arm to the sheets below. She squirmed and grumbled and tried to free herself, but the thing began a distant grumble that sounded so very familiar. Blurry eyes inched up slowly, streaming sunlight causing her to flinch and throw her free arm over her face.

Soft, golden fur greeted her sights, a bundle of fluff laying out across her pillow and arm like it belonged. She frowned, flexing her wrist again in an attempt to dissuade the animal. It only seemed to cause the cat to snuggle in closer and purr louder.

"Pumpkin..." she whined, but the small simper that graced her lips was inevitable. She sighed in feigned annoyance and inched up, briefly burying her face against her pet's soft side. It made her nose and lips tickle, but she hummed along with the purring for a moment anyways.

Until the blaring obscenity of her alarm clock caused both cat and human to jump, the previously comfortable duo glaring at the offensive machine. Huffing, Peridot briefly looked over to Pumpkin and muttered "Sorry," before turning and slamming an open palm down on the snooze.

Not that she would be going back to sleep. Curse her small bladder.

With an agitated groan she freed her arm from beneath the cat and sat up. She did her best to smooth out the jumble her hair somehow managed to become through the night as she untangled her legs from the sheets and stepped down.

"Cold!" she hissed, practically jumping over to the small rug in the center of her otherwise hardwood floor. It was like this every morning, and yet somehow it still shocked her system, which she supposed was a good thing. It definitely woke her up.

Ten minutes later found her shrugging on a button up shirt and slipping on her glasses before heading out the room. The smell of kale smoothies caused her nose to scrunch up as she hobbled downstairs.

"Good morning, mother," she mumbled as she slipped over to her normal seat. Already a plate with a single slice of toast and a glass of green gunk greeted her. A 'tut tut' made her frown as she pinched at the tablecloth edge.

"Two minutes later than yesterday, Peridot." There was no anger in her voice, a good sign in many ways. But at the same time there was something worse: challenge. She eyed her daughter harshly as she brought her own glass to her lips.

Peridot managed to swallow down the 'breakfast' she was given without grimacing more than once, and without prompting her mother into a raging state. That was good. Today was going to be good. That was normally how it went.

"Goodbye, mother," she excused herself, setting her glass and plate in the sink before dashing away. Her mother didn't respond, but then again, that was also normal.

Her pack felt heavier than ever as she slung it over her shoulders, chancing a glance at the wall clock before hurriedly exiting the house. She was going to be a few minutes late to the bus stop, but that didn't bother her as much as staying in that house did.

* * *

She growled as she shoved the book more fiercely. There was no way it was fitting in the absolute disaster that was her locker, but that didn't stop her from getting pissed at the inability she had to make it fit. "Stupid, idiotic, crappy..." she ranted under her breath, breathing in through her nose to calm down a bit.

"Yo, P-dot!" Amethyst again. Peridot threw a half-hearted smile her friend's way, catching sight of Pearl as well, before returning her attention to the task at hand.

"Hey," she mumbled as the other girl slammed against the adjacent locker, smirking and eying her through messy bangs of dyed violet.

"Hey. Having locker trouble again?" It was annoyingly rhetorical, and for a brief moment Peridot considered the possibility of flipping her off. But that was until Pearl opened her mouth and she realized she hated her even more.

"If you'd just clean it out once in a while," the taller girl muttered, more to herself than anything.

"And if you'd just mind your own business," she snapped quietly, just loud enough that Amethyst threw her a 'watch it' look.

She rolled her eyes and, giving up, slammed the locker door with the textbook still tightly clutched in her hands. "Whatever. What did you dorks want anyways?"

Amethyst grinned from ear to ear and threw her arm around Peridot's neck. "Lunch, P-dot. You won, what'd you want?"

Pearl crossed her arms tightly, covering her nonexistent chest and glaring at the smaller girl. In a way, Peridot had to admit Pearl intimidated her. The way she seemed to glare right through her with those grey, beady eyes... It made her shudder to think about. But she could easily overthrow the girl if it ever came to that. No matter the grave height difference.

"Uh, I don't care. Whatever you get is fine."

Amethyst nudged her in affirmation and backed off, returning to Pearl's side. "Kay. Well, P here has some sort of essay or whatever due in a week and asked me to come with her to English. I'll catch ya later!"

Peridot only nodded as she watched them saunter off, frowning at their retreating forms. Her mother's words ran through her head, as they often did when she hung out with Amethyst. _'Stay away from that_ thing _, Peridot. I'll sell my soul before I see my daughter turn into a monster like that.'_

Was Amethyst a monster? It didn't seem like it. Then again, it was the same for Ruby and Sapphire. They'd been around Peridot for years. No 'diseases' caught yet; at least, there were none visibly affecting her.

She shook her head, sighing to herself as she grabbed her bag from the floor and slung it over a slumped shoulder. Her eyes traced patterns in the speckled tiled floor as she wove through the crowded hallway, having memorized the path to class well into the beginning of the year.

Normally it was a clear shot. Maybe an off timed group of girls coming out of the bathroom, but they made enough noise that she could just step aside and dodge without making eye contact of any sort. This time was different.

She didn't mean to bump into the person standing literally in the middle of the hall. She didn't mean to snap out, "Hey, watch it!" She didn't mean to look up.

But they were the best things she could have done.

Aqua eyes met her own, a churning sea of nothingness. No emotion, no surprise or anger or even distaste. Nothing. Just an empty expanse of beautiful color.

Peridot couldn't help openly gaping as this mystery girl tilted her head, bangs of an off blue-grey falling prey to gravity and swishing against forehead and exposed neck. She couldn't help how her eyes traversed over a low cut shirt, giving a generous view of tanned flesh.

She couldn't help hating every cell in this girl when at last a lifeless voice, sweet but low, flittered to her ears. "Sorry."

The girl blinked, turned away. Walked away. Leaving Peridot standing, caught in the middle of confliction, glaring at a back that retreated silently and swiftly through the crowd.

Peridot didn't realize until the girl was gone that she had been holding her breath.


	3. Chapter Three

She rolled her eyes as she watched her friend show off, seemingly just splashing colors on the white back sheet to create swirls and streaks that magically transformed into known objects. It was frustrating; she spent hours just making an outline (and a very sad one at that) for this girl to just miraculously sprinkle out wonder.

She found herself giving in and listening to the droning coming from the back of the art room. Something regarding a new student. That girl, making Peridot sneer in annoyance. Most seemed aware of her by now, seemed to be making fun of her. If not for her rather low social status, she could have joined in. Something about that mysterious blue eyed fiend just dug beneath her skin.

"Geez, who tied her panties in a bunch?" her friend mocked, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Peridot shook her head before glaring at the much larger person. "Shut your mouth, Jasper."

Her only response was a chuckle and a rough pat on the shoulder. It nearly made her fall from her stool; it was bad enough her feet didn't even touch the floor on this thing. The last thing she needed was to faceplant right in front of the entire class.

"Don't tell me Pipsqueak is trying to boss me around." She could accept the nickname; if it had been anyone else, they'd be in for a serious rumble. But Jasper was the exception.

She sighed, letting her head fall to the table top with a dull 'thud'. She barely missed the paint tray. That would have been one disaster she definitely wasn't trying for.

"Sorry."

Jasper picked up a towel, wiping her fingertips on the clothe to rid herself of the colorfulness. It didn't really work, her pale skin was being stained. But she didn't seem to mind too much as she turned in her seat to face Peridot, who gave little more sign she was even still aware than a tiny grunt.

"What's bothering you? You're mom b*tching out on you again?" It wasn't really a question, because they both knew the answer. But it was nice that Jasper found the time to worry about her. A little. Sometimes.

She nodded against her forearms and sighed deeply. Honestly, she just wanted to leave. Go to the Big Donut or maybe down to the beach and just relax. A day in the sun wasn't really her thing, but she could make it her thing given the chance. Even a night of Netflix would be good.

Anything besides another music lesson.

"Oh come on, Peridot. How much longer are you gonna let her treat you that way? Don't be such a wuss! Stand up and say somethi-"

"That's easy for you to say," Peridot hissed, jerking her head up to glare. "You're mother isn't the scariest woman alive, and even if she was you're two times bigger than her!"

And it was true. Where Jasper's mother was a small, frail woman with a loving but very naïve personality, her daughter was well muscled and seemed to eat nails for breakfast every morning. If there was a fight to be had, Jasper was more than likely smack dab in the center. Fortunately, she didn't start them most the time. Most of the time. It seemed she took after her father more than anything.

Not that anyone even knew who her father was. That was one conversation that _would_ leave you on the receiving end of a beating if you brought it up to the girl's face.

Jasper took a moment to absorb the smaller girl's words. Then, she smirked. "See, there we go. There's your backbone, Peridot."

She scoffed, rolling her eyes again as she pushed away from the table. "Just finger-paint some more, a**hole."

The other girl snickered, returning to her picture. "Sure, whatever you say, Peridot."

* * *

She wasn't big on fast food, not really, but the second Amethyst dropped the bag in front of her she was reaching in to grab a burger. "Thanks," she mumbled, laying out a napkin to put her food on so it wouldn't touch the table.

Amethyst grunted, sliding in next to her. "No prob. Hey, listen, so you know the new girl everyone's been gossiping about?"

Peridot groaned, dropping the fry she'd been ready to devour. "Not you, too! Is there anyone else who doesn't care, or is it just me?"

Her friend snickered, running a hand through her hair to push it back. "Nah man. Half the school doesn't even know she's new; they don't care who's here or why. Only reason I even know of her is because she has my physics class."

The blonde rolled her eyes, biting into her burger. She chewed and swallowed before speaking again. "I bumped into her earlier, in the hall."

"Oh? You talk to her? What's she like?"

Peridot thought for a moment, screwing her mouth up in concentration. She grimaced when she thought about the interaction. "I don't know. Cold? Maybe it's just nerves."

Amethyst nodded in understanding, her eyes roaming the cafeteria as she fidgeted in her seat. That was the thing about Amethyst, she never could stay still for very long. A complete contradiction to Pearl; it was a miracle those two even sustained a relationship. Then again... Ruby and Sapphire were that way, too, weren't they?

Before her mind could take her down a long twisting road of thought, Amethyst interrupted it by snickering. Peridot looked over to see what the fuss was about.

"Look at her, she always does that," Amethyst was saying, crossing her arms across her stomach.

Peridot followed her friend's gaze. Pearl. Speak of the devil.

She was leaning over a table, googly eyed, chatting awkwardly with the head of the cheer squad. She was getting a laugh from the strawberry blonde, though the girl's hand remained seemingly attached to her boyfriend's. You could just see the loathing Pearl was experiencing for the poor guy; he was smiling forcibly and fake chuckling right along with everything, though.

"Why do you let her do that?" Peridot couldn't help asking.

Amethyst looked her way, as if in surprise, eyebrows shooting up. "'Let her?' Oh P-dot, you've got a lot to learn about women, dude."

The younger girl could just feel her back tightening as those words sunk in. Was Amethyst implying?.. What?!

Sure, she had a lot of friends that swung that way (that being most of them, actually, come to think of it...) but that didn't make her gay!

She shook her head, clearing her throat as she'd nearly choked on lettuce. "W-what? I don't, I-I don't eve-"

And Amethyst was snickering, trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably. Her shoulders shook with the effort it took not to laugh at the flustered girl. It was so easy to tease her; Peridot was just so adorably gullible.

And Peridot realized she was being led on. Her face contorted into one of disapproval before she dropped her gaze. "You better be lucky I don't like wasting food, because otherwise I'd rub your ugly face in it," she threatened.

Her friend only shrugged, returning her gaze to her girlfriend half way across the room. "Whatever. Anyways, I don't 'let her'. We both know Rose is super in love with that Greg guy. And as long as she doesn't throw herself at Rose, she can flirt all she wants."

The blonde furrowed her brows, thinking over the words. That didn't sound to bad, but she was pretty sure she was the jealous type. Okay, she knew she was the jealous type. She'd get too upset if her boyfriend did that to allow it, even if she knew it wouldn't pan out. It was just inviting the inevitable, and that wouldn't do at all.

"It works for some people," Amethyst murmured, catching the younger girl by surprise. "I know it sounds bad, but it works for us. She knows I love her, and I know she cares about me."

The way she said it sounded... sad. And her eyes flickered something for the briefest of seconds as the silence extended between the two girls. But then she was smiling like her normal self and nudging Peridot.

"Hey, you wanna go talk to the new kid? She's sitting over by the window, I think. All alone; as far as I'm aware, she hasn't really talked to anyone."

Peridot scoffed, shaking her head. "No way. I don't want anything to do with her." The way she said it might have came out a bit harsh, but she was dead set no keeping that premise. Something about the girl just... ugh. She didn't want to deal with her.

But when her friend frowned, giving a pleading look like a puppy begging for food, it was kind of hard to keep that thought in mind.

"Oh come on, P-dot. Please? I promise we'll just say hi. And ask her name. And ask where she's from. And of course ask her to join our table."

Peridot rolled her eyes. But she sighed, and before she could think rationally she was balling up a napkin and stretching, getting ready to stand as she pushed back from the too-tall-for-her table.

"Fine, let's just get this over with."


	4. Chapter Four

Her teeth ground together as she slammed the locker door, ignoring when it bounced back open, the sound echoing through the almost empty room. The few people still changing looked her way, surprised by the noise, surprised by her attitude.

She could care less.

She grabbed the tennis shoe she still had to put on and stomped out, into the gym, into the hell that was physical activity. Already a few of her classmates were helping their coach set up a net for volleyball. She would've cried from annoyance if she was alone.

Peridot sighed as she flopped against a wall, sliding till she was resting on the floor with her knees to her chest. She clutched the shoe tightly in both hands and rested her forehead against her knees, trying to take a deep breath. She knew this wasn't going to go well if she didn't calm down, and the coach already had an eye on her for her, for a lack of better words, hatred toward sports.

Not her fault she wasn't built for that stuff.

"Rabar! Get your butt out here, we're starting a game!" God how she _hated_ that voice with every fiber of her being.

Peridot ground her teeth but pushed herself up using the wall, rolling her shoulders and slipping the shoe on before jogging lightly across the court. She just _loved_ how Ms Mina seemed to single her out every single time where there were still people lounging around, hiding within the locker room or next to the bleachers to use their phones. If she even thought about such an action she was in for detention.

And that was definitely something her mother would freak over. So of course she had to suck it up and deal with the horror that came with this class. It didn't help that she didn't have friends here, either. There was this one guy she occasionally spoke to, Lars, but he had a habit of being a... well not so nice. So that wasn't a normal interaction.

"Serve," Ms Mina grunted, tossing Peridot the ball, hard. It hit her forearms and bounced off, rolling away into a group of girls just off to the side.

She groaned when she heard the coach huff, nearly just turned and walked away when one of the girls gave a disgusted noise before kicking her the ball again. She'd never hit anyone in her life, but people like that made it a hard decision.

Picking up the ball, she strolled over slowly to the line, making sure to take her time to anger the coach. Maybe that's why she was always singled out...

It took a moment to get everyone in place. It took a moment longer for the rules to be broadcasted (for the millionth time) and the game to start. Peridot didn't even really try when she served, mainly because she never made it over the net.

She was too short and hit too softly for such a thing to ever occur, even when she was angry.

Speaking of which, her mind began to drift back to the cause of her mood. Sure, she'd been expecting to hate that new chick, but Lapis just made it so easy to loathe her instead. It was immediate disliking, on a whole new level for Peridot.

* * *

She walked slowly, following Amethyst with a tight frown and rolling her eyes the entire time. It only took a moment to cross over to the window seats, and just as Amethyst had said, there was that new girl. All alone, texting or whatever on her phone.

As they approached, Peridot allowed her eyes to roam briefly. The girl was sitting cross legged, slouched, baggy jeans and a loose hoodie obscuring most of her features. But her skin was a nice color, naturally tanned by the sun, and her facial features were rather soft. She was actually pretty, adorable even as she screwed up her mouth tightly in thought.

It only made Peridot's frown increase, arms crossing defensively over her chest.

Before she could react she was being pushed down in the seat directly across from the girl, who neither looked up nor spoke. Amethyst flumped down next to Peridot and leaned back in her chair.

"Yo, how's it hanging?"

The girl took a moment to finish whatever she was doing; Peridot couldn't help watching those lithe fingers travel across the screen with utter ease. Then the screen went black and the girl's head snapped up, eyeing the two of them.

Eyeing Peridot.

"What?" There was that voice again. It was so dull and so bright at the same time, a contradiction in itself. Something in Peridot both hated and loved it at the same time.

Amethyst chuckled and leaned back forward, blowing the hair from her face. "I said, 'how's it hanging?'. What, you never heard that before?"

The girl blinked, and though Peridot was sure she was listening to every word Amethyst spoke, those cerulean orbs never left her. It was creepy in so many ways yet it also made a chill run up her spine. Unpleasant, yes, but also exhilarating. A roller coaster of feelings.

"No." It was so blunt and forward. No wonder no one wanted to hang out with this girl. The only reason Peridot stayed where she was at all was because she found she couldn't move.

She couldn't give up that gaze. That unblinking, terrifying gaze. That wonderful, mysterious gaze.

It seemed Amethyst hadn't really come prepared for that. Maybe she had heard some of the gossip and thought people were just exaggerating like they normally do. But judging from her classmates murmurs, Peridot was finding this girl to be exactly as she'd imagined.

And, in a way, more. A very scary way.

She swallowed, and those blue eyes followed the movement of her through. She fidgeted as the silence dwelled and those thin but pink lips twitched. She tried looking away and found she couldn't.

"What's your name?" Amethyst finally asked, and it was then that Peridot could see how even her friend was getting uncomfortable. This wasn't exactly the good idea it had been made out to be.

"Lapis."

_That's really pretty_ , Peridot thought before she could stop herself. And then she was cursing herself, rolling her eyes at her own mind. It made Lapis smirk, she realized, and once more she tried looking away. Until that girl spoke, directly to her for the first time, and with more than one word.

"You look way too short for high school."

Peridot had never gone from confused to enraged so fast in her life. It was bad enough that she had to live every day knowing she had some sort of growth defect. It was another thing when someone, a complete stranger at that, had to just point it out.

Was it just that everyone here had no mental filter or something?

She ground her teeth, immediately standing up from the table, starting Amethyst who had actually chuckled up until that point. Lapis just kept looking at her with this bored expression, like whatever was happening was the least of her cares.

And maybe it was. But that didn't change the fact that Peridot not only didn't like this girl, but that she wanted to actually hit her. That was a line she rarely crossed but she was seriously considering it for a moment.

But then she realized that she was letting someone get under her skin. She was overreacting. And that just p*ssed her off even more.

She found herself walking away, Amethyst jumping up and calling for her, and Lapis still watching her. She could feel those eyes digging into her back. She refused to acknowledge them, though.

* * *

The ball hit her directly in the face, making her yelp and stagger back, tripping over her own two feet and hitting the floor hard. Even laying there momentarily dazed she could hear the laughter, piercing her eardrums. She blinked and simply stared up at the overhead lights for a long moment before a body was blocking them from her view.

"Rabar, you okay girl?" It was her coach, eyeing her with a smirk. Peridot knew she was probably one of the first to laugh before she'd come see if her student was okay.

She nodded, furrowing her brow and lifting up onto her elbows. "Yeah, sorry. I didn't see that coming."

The snickers that followed made her want to curl up somewhere and die. _Sure, laugh all you want,_ she thought bitterly. She silently wished the worst upon all of them.

"Get up, we have a game to finish," Ms Mina informed her, and she listened to the retreating footsteps as the coach turned and ran after the ball.

She got up slowly, carefully, dusting off the backs of her shorts and straightening her top. She cracked her neck and, ignoring the still chuckling gaggle of girls, walked away. Even knowing there was no way the coach wasn't going to chew her out for it, she took the chance and headed back for the locker room.

She shrugged off the calling of her last name, pushed through the door into the room. She immediately headed for her locker, which still hung wide open as she'd left it.

F*ck it. It was nearly time to go, anyways. She'd endure however many laps Ms Mina decided to burden her with tomorrow. Today, she was so done. With everything.

It was just too much.


	5. Chapter Five

It was hard to find time to herself. Between her mother's horrid lessons and school, Peridot found herself tossed from one place to another, none of them for long and none of them her idea of fun.

Every once in a while, though, she found a place where she could say she was comfortable. The seaside was one of those places. The beach wasn't a place she enjoyed, per say, but it was quiet and spacious. It gave her this feeling of independence.

The sand was itchy, warmed by the sun and damp from the high tide, as she sat down on it. She crossed her legs and tapped in the passcode to her phone, half-heartedly picking at the hem of her jeans.

Ruby had texted. Something about a party Peridot definitely wasn't into. And Amethyst had immediately texted after saying there was no way Peridot was getting out of going to said party. She couldn't help rolling her eyes when she saw that, having known it would happen.

Amethyst was predictable. It was a good thing in a lot of ways.

Peridot typed a quick message, something along the lines of "sure, whatever you say," before dropping her phone down beside her and taking a deep breath. The sunlight felt surprisingly nice, and she leaned back on her palms to relax more. Maybe she'd try tanning again; she heard it was really terrible for her skin but that didn't seem to stop anyone else.

Not that she really cared about anyone else. Just a thought.

She closed her eyes, still seeing the sun behind her eyelids as her face turned skyward. It was kind of cool, seeing the yellow outline despite not really looking at it. She briefly wondered if anyone else also did things like this. Wondered about the simplest things, about nature and their existence among the stars. Maybe she was just overthinking everything again. Probably, actually. She had a habit of doing that, she'd been told.

Those thoughts were thrust aside, however, when a toy airplane came slamming into the side of her head, making her gasp and yelp and flail as if battling an invisible force.

God d*mm*t! Was everyone just against her today?

She groaned at the dull throb that started behind her ear, rubbing along her temple where the horrid toy had come bombarding at her from absolutely nowhere. She didn't realize someone was beside her suddenly until a throat was cleared, making her nearly jump from her very skin.

She glared, looking upward, squinting through the rays of sun. Of course it was the one person she loathed seeing.

"What the h*ll was that for?" Peridot growled, baring her teeth to the girl standing inches from her.

Lapis, bored expression in tow, shrugged, flicking her bang out of her face. "Sorry. You make a habit of being in the way."

The smaller girl tensed, teeth grinding and a hiss much like her cat when angry made coming from her lips. " _I_ get in the way? _Excuse me_? Who do you think you are?!"

Her uninvited guest only answered with a shrug, and it was only then Peridot really looked at her. Like, _really_ looked at her.

89% of skin was in plain sight. Only her unmentionables were covered really, by the skimpiest of a dark ocean blue material. A surprisingly adorable belly button piercing was on view, a heart-shaped thing. Partial abs flexed and smooth, soft skin protected by sunscreen lotion welcomed the sun. 

Peridot couldn't lie. Her eyes wondered, and she liked what she saw. It made her insane jealous. Her figure wasn't terrible, but she was definitely not that athletic, so no muscle could be seen on her. This girl, however, she did something that brought out her strength. Those long, tempting legs helped, too....

Peridot shook her head, eyes darting away and she scowled and reached blindly for the plane she knew had fallen beside or partially behind her. She found it, but her fingers grazed someone else's.

Lapis didn't jerk back. Instead, as if annoyed, she pushed harder against Peridot's and forced the other girl to retreat, taking the plane herself. She smirked as she watched the younger girl blush, the color on her cheeks really pronounced against her pale skin.

"I'm a Messiah," she joked quietly, clutching the plane to her chest, hoping in a way it got some sort of response. A chuckle or at least a sideways glance would be nice.

But Peridot clenched the hand hidden beside her thigh and decided the ocean was so much more interesting than Lapis. At least she sorta liked the ocean. Somewhat. Lapis was a totally different thing, though.

"Ha, ha," she muttered sarcastically, rolling her eyes and letting her other hand run through her hair, pushing it back. "Whatever. Just, stay away from me."

It came out harsh, and in a way she was glad for that. Hopefully this girl would get the message and leave her alone. What a thought. That it could be that easy, that painless. But life always throws a curveball.

"I don't think I want to do that," Lapis said, and though she smirked and winked when Peridot looked up in surprise, the first time she'd shown any emotion other than complete dead boredom, it didn't seem like a joke. Not like her joke earlier.

But certainly that was all it was. It would be weird if it was anything else.

Peridot didn't get to think of some smooth comeback or ask what this girl's game was. Lapis turned and began waltzing away, retreating along the beach, close enough to the water's edge for the frothy substance to lap at her feet and lick up her ankles with foam. In the sunlight, she looked like a model or movie star. Someone who should be on the front page of a magazine.

It made Peridot jealous again, but she pulled her eyes away from the sight and silently cursed Lapis in her head. What a total pain in the a**. She refused to let her get under her skin.

Ever though she had a feeling it was already too late for that.

She shook her head, picking up her phone and shoving it in her front pocket without checking the notifications that blared at her on her home screen. She didn't really care right now, even less than was normal. She just wanted to go somewhere, anywhere, that Lapis wasn't.

Home seemed like the best option.

Besides, she apparently had a party to get ready for.


	6. Chapter Six

Ruby's parties were never like other parties. Sure, there were the stashed boozes and weed, and sure the music was turned up way too loud halfway through the evening. But the drinks didn't come out until after, the dancing wasn't erotic, the upstairs bedrooms weren't occupied.

It was fun and open and carefree, but not overwhelming. Only Ruby's friends were invited, which consisted of fifteen to eighteen people respectively. No overcrowding, no immaturity. Just juvenile ignorance.

But that didn't mean Peridot couldn't silently complain every single second she sat there on the patio deck chair. It didn't mean her smile to those that passed wasn't forced. It didn't mean she had to partake in anything that happened.

Sapphire had come out an hour or so after the party began. She wasn't big on crowds, even small ones, so she'd accompanied the blonde and fallen asleep in her chair soon after. Peridot wasn't sure what to think of Sapphire, really. She was so quiet and so all-knowing.

It was a wonder how she could deal with Ruby's loud, ridiculous, random nature. Half the time it was a mystery how _Ruby_ could deal with Ruby.

Peridot pushed the thoughts away, grumbling under her breath as she scuffled from the chair to stand and stretch. The sun had moved in the sky since she'd been here; where it had been touching the tree line, it now dipped down and under to hide within the brambling branches.

A smear of mixed orange-pink inched up and across the sky, threatening to overthrow the deep set blueish violet. It was beauty in natural form, open and aware and showing. Imperfection somehow achieving perfection.

She shook her head, pushing her glasses, which had slipped, back up her nose. She could clearly see she'd accidentally touched the edge. That smudge would annoy her until she cleaned it off, but she couldn't bring her lazy self to worry with it at the given moment.

She pulled open the sliding glass door leading into the kitchen, slipping inside quietly and only half shutting the door again. Even from outside you could hear the music, something pop and overused, but from where she now stood she was ready to say it was making her ears bleed. She could just see the walls vibrating, sound waves reverberating, and wondered who was in charge of the stereo right now.

Her quiet contemplations were answered when she scrambled her way through a small gathering of people out into the open living room. She frowned. Of course it was Jasper.

Honestly, Peridot was surprised Ruby and her still talked at all. Last time Jasper had shown her face in the same room as the much smaller girl, she'd gotten punched in the nose by offering a less than subtle opinion on what she thought of Ruby's cousin, Garnet. Needless to say, that went very badly.

"Hey," she near shouted when she caught sight of the well built girl standing in the corner, talking to some guy.

Jasper seemed to hear her, amber eyes flickering up briefly before she was smiling at something her partner said, chuckling lightly. She made no attempt to go over to Peridot, however.

The blonde rolled her eyes, mentally flipping her off but not bothering with actually saying anything. She had to get out of here anyways; her head was pounding, threatening to split if she stayed near the blasting speakers any longer.

She found herself back in the kitchen, snagging a Cola from the fridge and popping the top as she slunk back out to the patio.

She was alone this time, though. Sapphire must have awoken and gone to find either Ruby or one of their other friends, because her chair sat bare beside the tiny side table. The rest of the patio, pool included surprisingly, remained devoid of life. Peridot found both comfort and utter boredom in that.

Maybe she shouldn't have thought about the boredom aspect though. Or maybe she just wasn't allowed to be comfortable. Whatever it was, she jumped when the sliding glass door jerked open then slammed shut behind her. She turned sharply in alarm, nearly dropping her drink, scowling and glaring when the taller girl smirked at her.

"What's the matter, don't tell me I scared you?" Jasper teased, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back against the doorframe.

Even though it was so very childish, Peridot couldn't help herself from sticking out her tongue. She muttered out, "Whatever," and turned back to her chair, flopping down without care.

She heard a deep set chuckle as she sipped the cooled beverage. "Come on, you seem so tense. It's a party for a reason. Lose the attitude or I'll make you."

"Your threats are irrelevant. I have nothing to say," Peridot grumbled. She knew it sounded robotic, did it on purpose. It was funny when Jasper's face contorted in annoyance, her whole body kind of tensing with the emotion. Even without looking back she could see it perfectly in her head.

"God, you're the worst," her friend huffed, lumbering over and sitting down surprisingly easy in the empty patio chair. "Get an actually life, you nerd."

Peridot chuckled and set her drink down on the table between them. She shifted until she found a semi decent seating arrangement and then relaxed back. "But then I'd have to stop talking to you."

The look of pure feigned anger on Jasper's face made her nearly cackle, and she was up and running for her life before the other girl could even think. But then the chase was on. It was a bad thing Peridot sucked at sports; maybe they would come in handy whenever these little scenes occurred. And there was always one, at every party. It was kind of like a tradition between the two.

Of course she went directly for the pool, trying to run around it before Jasper caught up. Of course Jasper did catch up, being the more in shape one. Of course Peridot found herself falling, weightless. Of course the water caught her with open arms as she flailed and gasped, beating at the substance with fervor.

She coughed and sputtered when she managed back to the surface, glaring up at her friend, who only smirked and placed her hands on her hips sassily.

"Thanks, now my clothes are soaked," Peridot growled, even though the smile was evident on her face, even though the stated fact was so obvious it was painful.

Jasper shrugged, turning and starting to walk away like everything was okay. "Not my problem, Peridot."

"F*ck you," Peridot snickered, wading toward the shallow end. Even through the blinking to keep the water out her eyes and cheeky grin that only succeeded in getting water in her mouth, she saw Jasper flip her off.

It only made her smile wider, for the first time in a while. And she was grateful for that.


	7. Chapter Seven

Nerves had always been an issue. Now more than ever.

Peridot swallowed uneasily, fidgeting, tugging at the sleeve of her blouse subconsciously. That only resulted in a heated glance from her mother and a stern frown that had her straightening her back but wincing away.

She listened to her competitors. To the beautiful violin solos and the astounding singers. They were wondrous and so talented and everything _she_ lacked. What sort of chance did she have out there? In three years, she hadn't won even runner up in this competition. That was borderline pathetic.

Who was she kidding? That _was_ pathetic. And her mother made sure she knew it, too.

Her mother leaned in, never actually looking her way, as the violinist began the final notes to his piece. "This is it. For the love of God, Peridot, don't disappoint me again."

She could only nod, throat so tightly constricted she could barely breath let alone think about actually making sound. It was enough. But her confidence was quickly degenerating as her mother stepped back and she was left, waiting for her name to be called up to the piano.

The final, sharp note of the previous instrument rang in the air, true. She listened to it like it was a death bell, stomach dropping out below her. She listened to the quiet, respectful clapping. She listened as the microphone was brought back out by Mayor Dewey.

She listened as her name was called out, as if she stood on death row awaiting the inevitability of her demise. Her palms felt moist, mouth like a desert, feet like lead. But she stepped out onto that stage.

The crowd hushed as she nervously strode forth, brimming with a sort of forced pride that had her knees buckling and her breath hesitant but her back stiff and her eyes forward. This was it. This was her time to shine. And d*mm*t she was going to do just that!

She turned to the crowd, her pale emerald gown swishing about her as she briefly bowed. She felt hot and itchy, the material foreign and strange. She felt exposed. But as long as her eyes barely hovered above those heads, seeing but not seeing the people in their seats, she was fine.

She turned her back on the crowd. Her elevated platform slippers tapped gently on the wooden stage. And then she was seated before the one thing that both comforted and terrorized her.

Those keys beckoned her hands forth. Those music sheets screamed encouragement. Her breath evened out, then stilled altogether. Her fingers rested on the first keys. The theatre hushed, silence save the static in the air that buzzed in your ears.

Then, she began to play.

Softly, purposefully. Fingers working magic along the smooth, polished keys and sound floating from within the instrument. She didn't need the music sheet for this part. She knew it by heart, and her eyes drifted shut as she blocked out the world.

It was just her, and it was just this, and she was okay. She was okay.

* * *

Her mother wouldn't look at her when she returned back stage. She didn't blame the woman, not really. So she just left her there to boil over her 'inadequate' performance. It was safer that way then a head on approach.

Peridot needed the air anyway. Her cheeks and neck felt heat stricken and her palms were so wet you'd think she'd stuck them in water. It didn't help that she kept wiping them on the dress, only to freak out and smooth out the material, as if she had just ruined it.

A light breeze was blowing as she pushed through the door, cold enough to make her shiver but gentle enough to coax her out. It was nice, and with the setting sun looming in the background, it almost delivered some sort of alluring charm. Like a movie, or romance book. Cliché.

Her arms snaked around her middle subconsciously, feet taking her away from the door. It made a gentle 'click' sound as it reclosed. It left her out here alone and to her thoughts.

Which, in so many ways, was such a bad thing.

Peridot chewed on the inside of her cheek, scrunching up her nose as she contemplated her own performance. Definitely better than last year. But still not enough to win top place. She had, once again, overestimated the timing for that particularly bumpy section and messed up. It had been the only flaw, though. Of that she was certain.

But almost perfect wasn't good enough. Almost perfect didn't get her achievements. Almost perfect didn't get her mother's approval.

Was that even what she was going for any longer, though?

"I thought you were pretty good," a voice spoke out softly from the side, startling Peridot enough that she jumped and turned on her heel. It was a good thing the dress stopped midway up her calf; if it had been body-length, she surely would've made herself to be a fool.

She knew that voice, despite her reaction. She knew that face when her eyes landed on it. That was obvious by the way her brows dropped and her eyes narrowed.

"What are you doing here?"

The blue-haired girl smirked, but it was soft and offering more than normal. Almost as if she was forfeiting their little game for now. And maybe she was. Her eyes didn't scream tease and she didn't seem to be lying about her statement.

"You were good. Even at the fast part. I don't know the piece, but you almost nailed it."

Peridot scoffed, jaw clenching as she turned back to face the door. It crossed her mind that she could walk away and avoid any further conversation. It also crossed her mind that she could throw in a few rude, rather demeaning phrases as well.

But something kept her rooted to her spot, and she simply shrugged. "Didn't answer my question."

"No, I didn't." It still caught the younger girl off guard, this act of side-skirting straightforwardness. Like she wanted to talk to Peridot, but she also didn't really know how.

Or maybe she was just naturally an a**. Either was plausible at this point.

Peridot hugged her stomach tighter, almost leaning in on herself as a bitter breeze snuck in and wrapped around her shoulders, blowing her hair into her face. She shook her head, as if it would somehow help.

"Thank you," she murmured dully, her feet already moving forward. She didn't want to be here any longer, yet wanted to stay for the rest of the evening. Something drew her in but forced her out all at once in the presence of this girl. It was maddening.

Lapis' jaw tightened as she watched the girl before her trying to leave. She didn't want her to do that.

The way her dress got caught up in the wind, billowing out around her like some sort of magnificent cape, was beautiful. The way her hair was ruffled and slightly unkempt was adorable. She wanted to reach out and brush the loose strands away from her face, ever gently.

Her hands clenched at the very idea and she crossed her arms, leaning back against the alleyway wall. Sure it was dingy and grimy and probably filthy. Sure, she didn't trust that she wouldn't catch some untreatable disease just from the very sight of it. But she didn't trust herself so close to Peridot.

So... a skin eating parasitic leech was better... right?

"You're welcome."

She thought she saw Peridot's shoulders tense, just the smallest bit. She thought she saw a creeping half-smile half-grimace trying to situate itself on Peridot's face. But she knew for a fact Peridot glanced at her before reaching out for the door handle, letting herself slip back into the theatre.

And Lapis knew for a fact her nails were digging into the flesh of her palms the whole time. 


	8. Chapter Eight

Her keys made a resonating 'tink' as they fell into the bowl, jacket being shrugged off of stiff shoulders. "Mom, I'm home," she offered out, stepping from her flip flops and pushing them to the door side.

She didn't get a reply, but that was expected. She knew her mother was probably upstairs anyways; even though the move was supposed to have helped with her depression, she still spent most days wallowing in self hate as Lapis tried finding activities to keep her out the house. It was horribly normal at this point.

Her hands came up as she mussed down her wind beaten hair, feet taking her forward. Through the sitting area, a sparsely decorated room with no more than a couch and small TV, to the kitchen, where the remainder of their unopened boxes held possessions too menial to need at the given moment.

She nearly gasped aloud when she found her mother hunched over, sitting on the single wooden stool with elbows propping up her pale arms and heavy head. Her dull blonde hair fell down, covering her shoulders, creating a veil that kept Lapis from seeing her face.

She didn't need to, though. Her mother's shaking shoulders and almost silent sniffles told her what was going on. It felt wrong to leave her there, even though she really didn't know what to do. So she put on the best smile she could fake and leaned against the doorway, trying to ignore that her stomach was rumbling. She didn't want to go in that room, even under necessity.

"Hey, mom. Glad to see you're up and moving..." Yeah, it didn't sound sincere, even when she tried. In all honesty, it sounded berating in a way.

Her mother either didn't hear or didn't care. Her huddled form continued to shake, weeping, and her voice didn't perk up. It was a pitiful sight to see her mother like this. But it had been this way for nearly a year.

Ever since Lapis' aunt had died. And, in a way, Lapis could understand. Her aunt had been the type of person that lead, that anyone could listen to and respect and appreciate. She had been that one rock for her younger sister, keeping her safe and sane after it became known that Lapis' father was... heavy handed.

"Okay, um... I was going to go out tomorrow, pick a few things up. I think I marked everything we really need but, I mean, if there's anything you need...?"

No answer. Lapis found herself smiling regardless, the gesture simply for herself, and she cleared her throat, not knowing what else to do. "I'll uh,... I'll see you later, then."

And she stepped back, momentarily pausing to see if that elicited a reaction from the woman at all. Nothing, save a slightly less muffled, shuddering sob. She winced and turned, wanting, needing to get out.

* * *

A shiver managed to overtake her spine as she stepped through the cafe's door, the bell sounding out above her head. The warm air that assaulted her was what made her shudder again, such a contrast to the air outside. It was nippy today, no doubt about it.

A girl was sitting behind the counter, Sadie if memory served her correctly, and Lapis was actually grateful that it wasn't the other guy that worked here. Lars, she thought his name was. What a sexist dick.

From over the top of a paperback novel, Sadie threw her a smile and a wave, pushing her dirty blonde hair from her eyes and glossing over the page number before closing her book.

"Hey, how are you?"

Lapis shrugged, slipping from her jacket and tossing it onto a random chair before strutting to the counter. She leaned against it, eyes glossing over the pastries on display. "Eh, not complaining. Kinda bummed out that it's too cold out to be on the beach."

Sadie nodded, propping her elbows up on the clear counter and resting her chin in her hands. "I think a lot of people are. Steven came by earlier, made Amethyst pay for a large box of chocolate donuts since they couldn't go build sand castles like she promised."

Lapis gave a small chuckle, even though she had no idea who this Steven person was. Amethyst was that girl from lunch, though, she was pretty sure. Weird girl, very extroverted. But friendly enough, if you were interested.

But that thought only led her back to a certain geeky blonde, and that just made her frown. Peridot was... something else. Even Lapis herself was surprised at the interest she felt for the four-eyed, spiky haired, surprisingly musical nerd. And that wasn't okay.

Not even a little.

"Hey, you okay?" Sadie questioned, pulling Lapis from her own thoughts, and she blinked to find a hand waving in front of her face. "You just kinda zoned out there," Sadie clarified, eyes scrunching in question.

Lapis threw a small shrug and pushed her hair back, sighing. "It's cool. I'll take a bagel, please. Er, make it two. I'm starved."

The blonde in front of her chuckled, sliding from her seat even though her eyes remained on Lapis. "Then why stop here? There's like, three fast food places in this town. Go get pizza or something."

Standing straight and watching the display case being slid open, Lapis winked playfully. "But I want to see you."

Sadie snorted, grabbing a bag and sliding the two bagels inside. "Yeah, right. And I believe in the 'Rock People' Ronaldo keeps posting about on his blog."

The two giggled at the statement, Lapis eventually rolling her eyes as she shoved a few wadded up dollar bills on the counter. "Thanks. See ya around, I guess."

The blonde nodded, opening up the cash register. "Later, alligator."


	9. Chapter Nine

She figured an afterschool activity was probably a good idea. It'd give her a chance to try blending in with one crowd or another, a reason to stay away from home. Besides, she was actually pretty interested in the volleyball team. That wasn't to say she was good, just interested.

Other than that, she was considering the swimming team. She was hesitant about that, though. They had an entire ocean just a ways from the school; why would someone in their right mind settle for a chlorine infested pool over open, unexplored blue?

She wasn't the only one standing awkwardly in front of the activity board, and for that she was kind of grateful, but the girl just a foot away gave her goosebumps.

She was massive, so bulky it was questionable if she wasn't already part of weightlifting or wrestling. But her face was softer, silky blonde covering one eye, thick lips pulled up in a sideways smirk. Even then, Lapis inched to the right just a tad bit more.

Sighing, knowing she had less than two minutes before her next class began, she made the decision based solely on what sheet was closest. Of course when she went to add her name her pen had to desert her, leaving her stranded there scribbling at the paper's corner like a dope.

A surprising raspy chuckle reached her ears and when she quirked her head to the left, she nearly jumped. The girl was right there, one had on her hip and the other currently offering her what looked like a brand new blue pen.

She eyed the instrument like it was a bomb, mouth opening but then closing and eyes darting up to meet the other's. She didn't expect the smirk to evolve into an off, toothy grin.

"Volleyball, huh? Tried it my first year, only made it half a semester before I was kicked out. Too aggressive." That voice was so shockingly deep, but not all that unpleasant. She found she both liked and hated it, but she only shrugged and accepted the pen, clicking it before attempting to sign again.

Success.

"What are you taking?" she asked, only because she felt guilty about just leaving after this girl had at least tried talking to her.

The blonde shrugged, taking the pen back and twisting it between her fingers, eyes once more gluing to the board. "Don't really know," she grunted. "Done wrestling last year. Not really smart enough for any of the academic clubs. Don't really do team player, so no basketball."

Lapis followed the girl's words, eyes darting to the sign up sheets of each activity spoken about. Until her eyes landed on the band club, a single name written in bold green shining out from the others. Peridot.

She nearly snickered. Of course Peridot would be part of the band. The way she played last Wednesday was astounding; Lapis kind of wanted to hear her play again, though she knew that was most likely impossible. The girl didn't even like her.

Not that she cared.

"I gotta go," she stated quietly, the warning bell overhead making her nearly jump as it brutally ripped her from her thoughts.

The blonde next to her grunted again in understanding, throwing a half-hearted wave her way. "Sure, see ya around."

* * *

A humid day turned, not surprisingly, into a dreary one when thunder clouds rolled around some time after sixth block. She was kind of grateful, she loved the rain and it gave her something to occupy her mind with when her calculus teacher was literally the most boring person she'd ever met in her life.

But the problem was, she didn't have an umbrella. Or a car. So when the last bells rang and she was standing just by the school exit, watching the once dry sidewalk being assaulting, she found herself frowning. She'd have to wait; no way her mother would pick her up.

That was not a pleasant thought. Being at school any longer than necessary was horrid, and was the only reason she didn't go off on people; there was no way she was spending two hours of her afternoon in detention with a bunch of snappy idiots thinking they own the place.

Sliding down the wall, she let herself rest on the floor, bag underneath her knees, which were up to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She watched as the last few students for third load boarded their respective buses and left.

And then she was alone, the central heat cut off so nothing sounded overhead. It was eerily quiet, deserted. Like the beginning of some bad quality slasher movie, her being the first to die just so you could catch a glimpse of how terrible the rest of the thing was going to be.

She let her head fall, resting on her knees. Let her eyes slide shut.

Maybe she drifted off, she couldn't be certain. But that had to have been the case, no way she wouldn't have heard the footsteps otherwise.

The clearing of a throat caught her attention, and her stiff neck shot a pang down her spine in anger when she lifted a heavy head. She almost laughed when she saw who it was.

Fate works in mysterious ways, and she certainly believed in it. No other way to explain how the short blonde could be standing before her now, the most adorable alien umbrella she'd ever seen already opened and galoshes a size too big covering her feet.

"Are you waiting for someone?" came the nasally, high voice. She smirked and shook her head, letting her legs relax a little.

"Does it matter?"

Peridot opened her mouth to speak, but closed it and narrowed her eyes at Lapis. "Yes. Because if you're not, I'm offering you a way outside without getting wet."

Lapis' smile grew as a hand came up to brush through her bangs. "I'll be wet either way."

She nearly choked on her own repressed laughter when the girl cocked her head, obviously trying to decipher the words. That was before understanding blanketed her face, and she was suddenly hissing and throwing her hands up in exasperated disbelief.

Lapis couldn't hold her laughter back this time; Peridot looked so much like a little kid throwing a tantrum, the redness in her cheeks making it all the more memorable.

"Whatever, dork," Peridot threw her way, stomping away. "Stay here all night, then. See if I care."

Even though her shoulders still shook with silent chuckles, Lapis pushed herself up, slinging her bag over her shoulder and catching up to the blonde just as the main doors were being pushed open. She snatched the umbrella before complaints could be made and rushed outside, greeting the cold air and bounding down the steps in easy leaps.

When she turned around, the blonde was glaring down at her, hatred so clear on her features it actually made Lapis pause. But she wasn't one to show much, so she just put on her best smirk and crossed her arms, listening to the pattering of rain against the umbrella for a long moment.

Then, "Come on. I'm not just leaving you here."

Peridot growled, pulling her open jacket closer to her body to fight off the nagging cold. Her eyes darted from the blue haired monster standing idly with her umbrella up into the dark swirl that was the sky. She really, really didn't want to do this this afternoon.

"At least get back here so I don't get wet," Peridot countered, and she winced at her own voice, clearly hearing the whiny plead within it.

Lapis frowned, gripping the handle tighter and shoving her free hand into her front pocket. "No way. Come on, it's literally six- no, seven steps. I'm right here."

She'd never seen someone look so scared to step out into the rain. It was like a cat when you introduced him to the bath. Fear and anger and confusion melding together to create this horrific emotion that completely overtook your face and made it look both terrifying and comical.

She actually... kind of felt bad. Kind of.

Peridot sighed, wrapping her arms around herself and pressing her back to the closed glass door. "Please, Lapis? Just come back up."

That tugged at the other girl's chest, making her eyebrows furrow and her frown to turn into a straight line. She felt bad, now. Because her teasing was just making the other girl retreat seemingly into herself. If this was some fear, albeit strange fear, she didn't mean to push.

Sighing, she shrugged and smiled up at the blonde before completely ditching the umbrella. Letting it fall to her side and allowing the chilled raindrops to cascade down from above, soaking her through in less than a minute. And Peridot could only stare, eyes wide even as her glasses fogged over, making it harder to make out the other girl.

Lapis grinned brighter, arms outstretching, twirling in a slow circle, before looking back at Peridot.

"Now I'm wet, too. It's fair, right?"

Something inside the blonde chastised herself, jaw clenching. It was rain. That was it. And Lapis... she made it look almost fun to be standing in the middle of a storm, hair clinging to damp skin and clothes laden with water, weighing her down.

Lapis closed the umbrella, shaking her head. If Peridot wouldn't join her, that was fine. She was already drenched, no point in getting help anymore. She could walk home alone.

She began the ascent back up, only to stop in pleasant surprise when the blonde stepped out and into the mess, hugging herself but smiling regardless. A shy, small smile that reached her eyes. Mirth danced in the emerald ocean, surprising Lapis even greater. Because it wasn't directed at the rain, or the umbrella she was now offering. It was directed at her, and her alone.

Even when spiked hair was being flattened by water, glasses fogged with clinging droplets, stupid galoshes rendered completely useless, Peridot still smiled and still let out a nasally laugh. And it made Lapis smile in turn.

Before her mind caught up with her.

And then she was only half smiling, berating herself internally but offering the umbrella and, ultimately, her hand. Even with that voice in the back of her head, she laughed with Peridot. Even with her conscious telling her she was a fool, she let the doubt roll off her shoulders.

It didn't matter that she was biting her tongue hard enough to taste copper the entire time.


	10. Chapter Ten

She smirked, hands coming up to run through her wet hair. Her breathing was a little fast, but it was nothing compared to the girl before her who was glaring with obsidian eyes. Eyes that could've killed, as the saying went.

"No fair," the girl sneered, misty ocean blue board being tossed down rather harshly. She sneered as she eyed Lapis with fervor. "You had to have cheated!" It was rather amusing, watching her mouth and nose contort like they were doing.

"Maybe you're just not as good as you like to think," Lapis replied pointedly, beginning to turn around to head back over to the towel she'd brought to tan on.

She heard the girl swear, could just envision the thought of clobbering her that was flying through that head. But, luckily for her, she was just called a few choice words before being left alone.

She wasn't much for competition. She didn't see a point in things like that; they just didn't really appeal to her. But it was definitely satisfying to see someone throw a hissy fit after talking smack like that. Those wins were always worth the pain of being back-talked by some prissy brat or rich kid.

The sun was perfect, air warm and inviting without being stuffy. The sand was a tad bit uncomfortable, but once she laid back out on her magenta towel, that wasn't a problem. She sighed in relief as she closed her eyes and rested her cheek on her forearms. Now, it was alone time, and she was just going to enjoy it.

* * *

She must have dozed off, because her eyes were jolted open when a voice spoke up near her. She groaned; the skin on her back felt too tight, and her muscles cramped when she tried swiveling her head. Yeah, she could just feel the pain of a sunburn settling in.

That voice didn't sound familiar, just really loud and obnoxious. Like it was pulling at her eardrums and making her wince because it was too high and too all-knowing.

She pushed herself up gently, groaning again when she tried sitting on her butt, only to realize the backs of her thighs were like hot coal where they touched the towel's material. It wasn't necessarily painful, just unpleasant.

She looked over to find the source of the intrusion, a tall, lanky girl with shortly clipped brunette hair and clothes that screamed five years old. She was facing the opposite direction, phone pressed to her ear, talking loudly and gesturing profusely to someone who couldn't see. Lapis had the mean thought that if she was on the other end of that line, she'd definitely hang up.

Lapis sighed, wincing as she stretched, trying to ignore the burning in her flesh as she ran her hands over her face and down her neck, yawning quietly. Probably time to go home. Or, just go home long enough to change and then head out for dinner.

Yeah, that sounded better. Frankly, she didn't feel like dealing with the depression that permeated every microscopic particle in that house.

It took a couple minutes to successfully stand and gather her things, slipping on the jacket she'd brought and balling the towel up beneath her arm. She turned to walk further down the beach instead of towards the town, hoping to avoid the still present woman.

It was a longer walk, made longer still by the tightness in her muscles. And, honestly, it was kind of eerie. She loved the sound of the waves, loved the sound of distant sea gulls. But this was different. Without people, it made things ethereal.

That's why it sort of shocked her to suddenly spot a figure in the distance, seemingly emerging from nothing save the flowing, pinkish-orange sunlight as it reflected off the water. Tall, bulky, staring off into the horizon. It reminded Lapis of one of those sappy romantic dramas one of her cousins had been addicted to.

The thought to turn back around occurred to her, certainly. If this person was this far out, away from the normally crowded sections of beach, then they probably didn't want company. She'd be invading. But that thought was short lived.

Because she recognized this person. The closer she got, the less it looked like just a darkened silhouette and the more features became discernible.

It was a girl, the same one she'd seen days before. Just as buff, hair just as tangled as the faint breeze caught hold of it, making it flutter around her shoulders. Her face was twisted, though, into something akin to a sneer. Like her veins were boiling with the sight of the setting sun.

Lapis wasn't being loud. On the contrary, her steps were silent thanks to the sifting sand beneath and between her toes. But the girl looked her way, as if sensing her drawing ever closer, and Lapis actually felt a pang of sympathy run through her. It was unlike her to feel that way, so it surprised her as her body came to a stop less than eight feet away.

The girl cocked her head, face softening. In the gentle lighting, her eyes took on a glow that offered something more. Something better. The tear tracks on her cheeks spoke the truth, though. She was hurting, and she didn't know what to do.

"Hi," she spoke, and her voice was just as deep but now it cracked under pressure. Lapis wondered how many people had seen her like this; she didn't give off the aura of someone all that intoned with extreme emotions.

Lapis shifted her weight. "Hi," she voiced.

A pause, long but surprisingly not awkward. The girl was the first to break contact, turning her head back to the water. "What are you doing here?"

Lapis frowned, following that gaze but finding nothing but the distant frothing of lapping waves. She once more contemplated just turning away and leaving. A cruel thought, perhaps.

"Nothing," she murmured honestly, subconsciously tightening her grip on the towel. "You?"

A shrug answered her, and she watched in quiet fascination as the girl shook her head, shoving her hands in her jeans and absently kicking at the sand. It sent a shell sliding down the slight slope towards the beach's edge.

"It's complicated. Or, maybe it's not. I don't know. I just had to get away a moment, you know?" There it was again, that raw emotion. It washed over them, obviously negatively affecting the girl. Lapis took a step forward before her mind could catch up and stop her.

There they stood for an insufferable moment, the sun ever sinking and the water growing more and more adventurous as it reached out for their feet. Quiet and loud, alone but together, reality but mindful fantasy. It felt nicely terrible.

Until Lapis sighed, letting her towel drop to the sand. She shuffled forward, following an imaginary line in the sand. The girl didn't look at her; Lapis wasn't fully sure the girl even heard her moving.

She bent down when she made it, wincing at the pain in her thighs but waving it away mentally as she scooped up both pebbles and a shell. It was smooth thanks to the water, dulled with age. An honest teal color that could be lost with the tide if given the chance.

For a moment, her thoughts wandered. She remembered moments just like this, once upon a time. When she was a mere child, running through the dunes of scratchy earth and treasure hunting with her mother's voice always in the background, either laughing at her fanatics or warning her to be careful. It was bittersweet. It was painful.

She shook it away, though. She didn't need that, a mental overview of what had and still had time to go wrong. Those were for another time, another day. Maybe never if she was kind to herself.

She turned back to the girl to find those glowing eyes staring at her, into her, through her. They were probing, and yet they were offering at the same time. It was strange and unwelcome, yet oddly intriguing. Something akin to a perverted sense of mutual distress.

Her smile was almost forced, the smallest twitch of thin lips trying to come up in some sort of reassurance. She had to shuffle a few feet to be able to reach out, shell in hand, and offer it.

"'Tides will drift, but tides return _,_ '" she mused quietly. _(quote by Steph Barrak, Hardwired)_

The girl furrowed her brow heavily, but she took the shell. Their eyes locked once again, and Lapis nodded once. It felt right.

And then they were drifting apart, and the water was washing over Lapis' bare legs as she watched the girl turn and walk away. The shell kept catching the light, shining when the girl's arms would move. As if it were a beacon.

Hope in the form of a beautiful metaphor.


	11. Chapter Eleven

This was actual Hell, she was ninety-nine percent sure of that.

She didn't hate kids, let's make that clear, but she never realized they could be such _monsters_ either. They screamed and laughed way too loudly, and they were always touching things, and she definitely couldn't focus on what she was doing when a little boy was consistently tugging at her shirt hem and asking what she was doing a million times in less than half an hour.

Clarity. She was at the museum, working. Working. In a last ditch attempt to find any and all excuses to stay far from her house, she had located a job. As a janitor, basically. And oh boy was it sooo much _fun_.

Lapis sighed as she wiped at one of the many, many glass casings, trying to remove the smudged fingerprints from an earlier field trip of overly excited second graders. It was certainly quieter now that there were only the normal crowds, history observers and tourists. Still boring as could be, though.

As she wiped, she couldn't help overhearing snippets of conversation. It wasn't that she was trying, though it did help ease the tension in her shoulders when she could get a laugh out of someone else's problems. She heard everything, from people questioning when and why something was exhibited to a couple bickering over what they would be having for dinner, to even an older lady chastising what Lapis figured was her son for getting a cat when he knew she was allergic to them.

No one she knew came in; most people her age wouldn't come to a museum, anyways, and on top of that she really didn't know that many people here even now. It had almost been a month, but she certainly wasn't popular. And the overused, overrated cliques of high school bored her; she'd rather be alone than get classified as something so shabby and moronic.

"Your idea of fun is... amusing," a voice cut through her thoughts.

She froze. No way Peridot could be here right now. Of all the places in this entire stupid town, she had to be _here_.

They hadn't spoken in over a week, not because they were avoiding one another but because there was no cause for it. And without cause, their interactions were just awkward and unsure. Peridot wasn't exactly the most social, and Lapis couldn't testify that she tried all that much harder. It was just more comfortable, and more fun she surmised, to witness the younger girl's life from afar. Without actually intervening too much.

Lapis forced herself to keep wiping, not even looking back. As much as she wanted to, she hated the very idea. "Whatever. What's up, Peri?"

She'd taken to referring to her as such. It seemed to annoy the blonde a tad bit, but that just cemented its usage. Anything to get under her skin, to watch those emerald eyes narrow as if she was trying desperately to appear aggressive. It didn't work, at least not in Lapis' opinion. It just made her look like a bored puppy.

"Nothing," came the nasally response after a long, drawn out pause. There was something in her voice that Lapis caught, something that made her ears prick up just a bit more. "I have to swing by BCF when Amethyst gets off work, so I thought I'd pop over here for a bit."

Lapis smirked as she finally turned toward the blonde, more than a little amused when she saw how awkward the girl looked leaning against the wall, trying to look casual. "Oh? Missed me that much, huh?"

Pale cheeks turned pink in the span of a mere second and that infamous scowl was coating Peridot's features. She glared at Lapis as the blue-haired girl wiped her hands on her jeans.

"Whatever, dork..." she murmured, and it was undeniably cute how she looked up and away, trying to come across as unaffected and once again failing miserably.

Lapis' smile faltered when that thought hit her, when it really sank in that she'd thought of Peridot as 'cute'. She mentally berated herself as she coughed and turned sideways, pretending to inspect the next case but only seeing a blurry visage.

"What's BCF?" she asked, not really caring but needing to steer the conversation in another direction, preferably something that came across more as actual small talk and less flirting.

That helped clear the air a little. Peridot brought a hand up to rub across her neck as she eyed Lapis with a look that asked, 'are you serious' before replying. "Beach Citywalk Fries. Come on, their fries are legend. Peedee would hate you for not knowing about them."

'Oh' her mind spoke up, and she blinked. She certainly knew the place, it had been her choice for dinner the first week she was in town. And, though she knew Peedee, she found his brother more interesting. Ronaldo was the type of guy so completely out of it, you couldn't help but like that you hated him. She was pretty sure he was a stoner. Maybe shrooms? Half of what he came up with on that blog, which she would admit she went on once or twice, was just too insane to have been made up without a little help.

"Oh, right, right," she muttered, more to herself than anything, as she absently wiped at the casing. "What time is it?" She really didn't want to be here any longer; after the first hour she'd deduced that she hated it, but now she was loathing the place's very existence.

Peridot took a moment to get out her phone, grumbling something along the lines of, "You have your own phone, look it up yourself." But, with a swipe and a pause, she announced, "five fifty-three."

Lapis could've actually hugged her, that was music to her ears. She settled for a thumbs up instead and tossing her clothe down on the casing. She ran her hands through her hair, pushing her bangs back out of her face as she turned towards Peridot again.

"So, you're hanging out with Amethyst today?" She didn't have anything against the girl, but she just came across as too hyped and too energetic to someone like Lapis.

The blonde nodded and fidgeted against the wall. "Mhm. She got this new RPG she's been boasting about for weeks now. I'm going over to her place to try it out."

Lapis wrinkled her nose. She wasn't a gamer, not in the slightest, and had absolutely no interest in things like that. "Sounds fun," she stated anyways, crossing her arms.

"You wanna come? I'm sure Amethyst wouldn't mind."

"No thanks." It was curt and more than a little rude sounding, but Lapis didn't take it back. Not even when Peridot looked startled and the slightest shiver of guilt crawled its way to the surface of her being. "I'm not big on that junk."

The blonde's mouth actually dropped. "What?" she questioned, brows furrowing and eyes narrowing simultaneously. "Please tell me you just mean RPGs."

Lapis shook her head.

It was hilarious to see the way the girl reacted, the way her shoulders tensed and her face screwed up like she was seeing Lapis for the first time all over again and just couldn't believe she was real. It was... adorable.

There her mind went again, and once more Lapis found herself shaking her head and looking away, trying to keep from frowning so no questions arose.

"Come on, there's no way you don't like video games. COD? FF? What about the Sims? Or even GTA?" She was holding up fingers with each one she named off, eyeing her hand and Lapis in intervals.

Lapis only shrugged, deciding now was the time to check and see if she could end this. She pulled her phone from her back pocket, turning it on as Peridot just stood there, seemingly rethinking everything in life in the matter of a few moments. Five fifty-eight. Good enough.

"Well, I gotta go," Lapis breathed, thanking whoever was upstairs. "And you have to go to the.. BCF?.. now. So, I'll see ya around, Peri." She knew she was being sketchy, knew she was coming across as shallow and rude again. But, she just couldn't help it. She needed to get away from the blonde before her mind could think of another thing to torment her with.

Peridot blinked, caught off guard. "Oh, ah, yeah, okay. See ya later, Lazuli."

Lapis breathed a sigh of relief as she was let alone, felt eyed on her back as she walked away. She felt guilty, sure, but she knew it was either that or the inescapable, dreaded self loathing that would surely follow later.

Frankly, this was easier.

Not now, but in the end.

And she really, really didn't want to hurt Peridot.


	12. Chapter Twelve

There were three phases to her beautifully calculated layout. Phase one, infiltration through small talk. Phase two, observation of every single move her opponent made. Phase three, annihilation. Simple enough strategy, if she did say so herself.

Too bad it was utterly useless.

"Come on!" she yelled, jerking her hand back as if to toss the controller, though it never truly left her grasp. She seethed as she watched her onscreen character fall, simply laying in distress along side her already mutilated team.

Amethyst smirked as another voice came through their earpieces, a shrill cry of annoyance mirroring the blonde's. "Come on, Perry, chillax. It's just a game. That I... Win... Again!" Amethyst cried out as the screen shone 'victory' and her hands flew up to fist pump the air.

"WE win, Amy," came a shrill voice from the earpiece, making Peridot wince. Why did Pearl of all people have to be playing? Sure, it was great (har har) that the girl was doing something less... shrewish... but come on, this was really stretching it.

"Oh, right, sorry P," Amethyst mused, reaching out to snag her Monster from off the coffee table. "You guys up for another round?" she asked after chugging the remainder, crumbling the aluminum like paper following.

The blonde scoffed, tossing her controller down on the sofa and pushing up off the cushions. "Why? It's two against one. Unless you count that noob that just follows me everywhere." There was actual bitterness in her tone, something she couldn't quite hide.

Her friend's expression changed from one of smugness to a more concerned screening fast, and she covered her mic for a second. "You okay, dude? We can go back to campaign mode. I'm sure Pearl won't mind too much."

Peridot shook her head, letting her head lull against her shoulders, sighing as she looked up to the ceiling. "No, it's cool. Just give me a sec to use the bathroom. Brb, Pearl." She didn't wait for a response, simply threw her earpiece down next to the controller.

She received a thumbs up as her friend sifted back to rest more comfortably, bringing her feet up to rest on the table. Peridot was thankful when she was left alone, turning and heading for the first floor bathroom just down the hall. Not nearly as big as the upstairs one, but more presentable since it was intended for guests anyways.

As she slipped inside and closed the door, she leaned against the wood, sagging really as she frowned. She just wasn't feeling it tonight. Sure, the game was fun, and even though she was losing miserably she was happy to be somewhere other than home, but something was wrong. Maybe it was Pearl... Nah, she couldn't blame it solely on that... Well, it wasn't completely her fault, in any case.

The blonde reached into her back pocket and pulled out her phone, clicking on an app at random. Tumblr. Yes, she had a Tumblr. As weird as some of the posts she'd discovered could be, it was her number one go to when it came to her favorite fandom. And there were plenty of accounts dedicated to her favorite Pierre, Percy pairing.

But, after only scrolling the first few times and coming across a drawing or two, even someone's new cat they were showing off, she found herself just as bored and disinterested as ever.

Exiting out, she turned to her contacts, skimming through briefly. She could call up Ruby, maybe she was free. Or Sapphire, in that case; they didn't really talk without someone else around, though, so that'd probably be really weird. There was Jamie, he was okay. A little melodramatic, but a loyal friend.

No, she concluded with yet another sigh, cutting the screen off and slipping the device back where it belonged. Maybe she'd just head home. Perhaps she was catching something; yeah, that seemed probably. This time of year was never kind to her weak immune system.

With that thought in mind, she left the bathroom and trudged back to the living room, only to pause in the doorway when Amethyst's voice raised.

She hadn't realized how quiet the house had gotten, how her normally rambunctious partner was unusually reserved. But now, it was awkwardly obvious.

"Come on, P, you know I didn't mean it like that." Pause. "No, I jus-" Slightly longer pause and a groan. "I just meant that it's weird, you know? People are talking an-" Ouch, that earpiece was going to be the cause of Amethyst going deaf, because even from here in the doorway and over the lingering melody of the starting screen Peridot could hear a muffled voice. "What, no!" Amethyst suddenly yelped, straightening up on the couch, "I didn't do that! Come on Pearl, you know me better than that!"

Peridot felt guilty standing here, listening to this. The way her friend's voice rose an octave, the way it broke near the end, she shouldn't be eavesdropping. Looked like goodbyes were out of the question, she'd send a text when she got a few blocks away.

Her coat was on the couch, so she just left it and mentally marked it as one of those things to get whenever she visited again. Other than that, she had her pack, which she grabbed as she slipped unnoticed out the front door and into the night.

Ten minutes, she surmised, before she'd safely be home. She walked along with the glowing street lights, watching her own shadow morph and follow her across the sidewalk, silent but almost always present by her side.

A dog barked across the road. Someone shouted something from afar. A trashcan rustled. Wind chimes danced and sung out into the air. Everything was alive and working. If she looked back, she could make out the glowing lights of Funland even from here, peaking through the tree line.

Beach City never slept, never paused. Something was always, always happening. So why was she on hiatus? Why did it seem her life had taken a dive, revolving on nothing save her forced piano lessons and the school work she no longer cared for? Why couldn't she just let it all go, for a day, a week, a month? Just long enough to clear her head and start again.

"I'm surprised you don't have a seven o'clock curfew," a voice spoke up behind her, making her jump and stumble as she twisted around as fast as was possible.

She was met with a figure half hidden in the shadows, sideways to her but clearly looking right at her. She knew that voice, knew that look, knew the person behind them. It only made her frown, though, not wanting to do this now.

"What do you want, Lazuli?"

It almost looked like Lapis winced at her tone, and a pang of annoyance hit Peridot. She wasn't completely sure why, but it lived on even as she sighed and pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose.

"Sorry, I just... I've gotta go," she muttered, deciding that she really couldn't be bothered by the horribly mysterious, terribly obnoxious nature that followed Lapis like a dead weight.

She'd barely turned when a hand caught her wrist, soft gentle fingers wrapping around it. "Wait," Lapis murmured, and Peridot couldn't understand why her legs twitched like that or why her free hand reflexively reached to touch the invading figure.

They stood still for only a moment, neither looking at one another, the air between them too cold for any sort of comfort. And then Lapis jerked back like she'd been burned, look suddenly so dark it went right along with the night they found themselves enclosed by.

Her mouth floundered for a long moment, no sound save a gargled noise that was both pathetic and heartbreaking at the same time. Then she quit trying, and instead shoved her hands in her hoodie pocket and looked off across the road.

Peridot was the first to break the underwhelming quiet. "What is it, Lapis?"

The girl didn't respond, simply huffed and shook her head and continued looking elsewhere. It ticked Peridot off after a straight moment of utter non-communication, enough so that she audibly sighed and took a step away.

"I really have to go now. Talk to me when you find your tongue again." It came out as more of a snap than intended, but wasn't taken back.

Until that hand was once more on her wrist, and her breath was catching as she was tugged closer to the warmth of a body offering much more than shelter from the cold. She wasn't close enough to touch, but close enough to feel. To smell something akin to lavender and vanilla. It was nice, she couldn't help sniffing.

Lapis ground her teeth a moment, looking torn, contemplative. When those oceanic orbs graced the blonde again, there was hesitation. But her voice didn't offer that same disarray. "Come with me." Her brows unfurred slowly, face softened the smallest amount. "Please."

Peridot's mouth was dry. She couldn't think. She only blinked, and tried swallowing past the unexpected lump forming in her esophagus. Then, she nodded, ever so slowly.

"Okay."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

It didn't make sense. Maybe that was because it was Lapis, but still. Peridot couldn't gather her bearings long enough to understand what was happening, let alone question why.

Okay, that was a lie. In her mind screamed a thousand 'why's. Why were they in a random person's backyard (and she knew it wasn't Lapis' because they had to stay quiet and away from the darkened windows)? Why did Lapis keep looking at her like she was a puppy in need of scolding? Why was she even _following_ Lapis? Why didn't she just go home already?

A thousand questions. Not a single damn answer. And she really, really hated being kept in the dark like this. It was literally her most loathed part of life.

But she didn't argue, and she didn't leave to go home, and she didn't let her hand fall from Lapis' even when they were standing inches apart, tucked back into the darkest corner behind a tool shed. Because for some.. indescribable moment, this felt okay. _She_ felt okay.

But that was before her mind began berating this very night once more and she was suddenly suffocating from the proximity and she just had to get away. Their fingers untangled and she stepped back, not fully out of the cover of shadow but enough to catch sight of the quarter moon.

Lapis' frown, the one she'd been loyally harboring all night, deepened. It almost seemed she was sneering at the blonde, threatening her with eyes of charcoal behind bangs that swayed with the late breeze.

When the silence seemed painful, physically so as it weighed on them from above and pushed them from below and twisted them from the sides, it was broken. By Lapis. By her. Their words came together in an unclear, hectic display.

"Why did yo-"

"I need to-"

And then there was a smirk tugging at the still present frown upon the blue-haired beauty's face, and she shifted her weight, tugging at the almost nonexistent jacket that barely gave any sense of coverage. "Sorry," she murmured, but the faint humor in her voice voted otherwise, "you can go ahead."

Peridot shook her head, running her hands over her bare arms and looking off toward the uppermost floor of the home, particularly the left corner. Nothing gave any sign of life, but she was certain it still couldn't be but something after ten. No reason someone shouldn't still be up; she herself stayed awake reading well into the morning.

"Why are we here? Who's home is this?" She didn't really expect an answer, so she wasn't at all surprised when her answer was the rolling of Lapis' shoulders out the corner of her eye.

"Does it really matter?" came the snarky reply, and for once it sounded genuine and made her flinch back, eyes dropping. And she got her own metaphor, how she looked like a broken puppy, because she suddenly felt like one when Lapis snapped like that.

She shook her head ever so slightly before turning and looking up the room once more. What if that light _did_ come on? "No, I guess not," she murmured quietly.

She heard the heavy sigh, but it still caught her off guard when a hand reached out, fingertips brushing along her forearm. She jerked slightly, taking yet another step back into the ongoing moonlight. Lapis realized her mistake, withdrew her hand as if it had been flames she'd been attempting to comfort. Her face contorted into something unknown, and well hidden by the dark when she turned sideways to avoid Peridot's questioning eyes.

"I... This was a really stupid idea," Lapis chuckled out, shaking her head. "I just... You don't.." Her voice leveled out before dipping into oblivion, leaving silent words hanging on the end of her tongue. But she couldn't find the strength to give them weight. It would take too much out of her.

The blonde stepped forward, if only to retreat back into the shadow should prying eyes wander their way. She wanted to leave, she felt she should comfort. It made her antsy and bounce on the balls of her feet as she scrutinized the girl before her. What was Lapis trying to do to her? Should she even be listening to this?

"If you don't start making sense," she warned, but the beginning to a threat she had no way of going through with came out as little more than a whine, and she ducked her head to retrieve any sense of understanding. It didn't work, of course, but it gave her a moment to collect her breath.

Before it was swiftly taken from her yet again.

Lapis didn't back down this time as her hand came out to wrap around the blonde's forearm, tugging her further into the shadow and making her stumble over a patch of grass grown too high. The soft warmth of a body caught her, and her mind decided now was the perfect time to lose functioning capability. Because she forgot anything besides the arm that swiftly wrapped round her waist, ignored everything save the sensation of a hand pushing her chin up more forcibly than might have been required. She forgot everything accept those crystalline eyes, that honed in on her and only stopped closing in when they were mere inches apart.

She didn't think breathing would ever be on her to-do list again.

Lapis' eyes were so intense, like a storm smashing against the coast, foaming and writhing in anger at an overwhelming sky. They pierced her, froze her. And there wasn't a damned thing she could do about it.

"What do you feel when I'm around?" It was a question Peridot could barely hear, but that somehow pierced the veil that encircled her whole. "Because that's what I feel, too. And it's so _fu_ _cking_ annoying, Peri."

With every word her body shook, that arm closed in tighter, till not even air was in their way. Being flush against this raving, blue-haired nut was almost unbearable. Peridot didn't think she could take a second more of this. It was too much, too intimate. Yet... She _wanted_ it. And she _hated_ that she wanted it, all at the same time.

Her eyes went wide when Lapis dipped in, she felt when breath hit her lips. Her body went fully limp at last, and her eyelids fluttered. She felt the movements as they ghosted across her mouth. She was so ready... She wasn't ready at all...

And she was falling.

Her knees hit the ground gently, aided by the overgrown grass. It still shocked her, sent a jolt of surprise and confusion tangling in her head, but now she could breath. And she did, sucking in gulps of unsteady oxygen that burned her deprived lungs. Tears were stinging the backs of her eyes, she realized too late, before she blinked and they were falling down her cheeks.

And Lapis just stood there, face completely engulfed by shadow. But her shoulders were shaking, and her breathing was anything besides normal. She looked so frail, so lost, maybe even more so than Peridot. And neither knew why or even what was happening anymore. It just was.

Peridot could feel moisture, present after the gentle drizzle from just before dusk, soaking through the fabric of her jeans. It left her knees and calves cold, feeling exposed almost, but she couldn't bring her limbs to work right. She was frozen in place, the tingling of what was once warmth turned icy capturing her attention and bringing focus to the corner of her mouth.

Would Lapis have actually gone through with it? Would she have let Lapis?

The better question to that, though, was would she have had the strength to stop Lapis? And that.. was too obvious an answer.

Peridot found her teeth grinding, hands fisting against her thighs as she breathed unevenly through her nostrils. Home, she set on repeat in her mind, home. She needed to get home. Lapis was a problem, disaster really, for another day. Preferably one when she had patience enough to stand being in the same radius as the conflicting, mind boggling mess that was Lapis Lazuli.

But she still couldn't move, and in the end, Lapis was the one to break the silence that had befallen them.

"I'm sorry... I can't help myself around you." And, it shocked Peridot. Because there was a smile in those words, tucked back, and when emerald eyes jerked upward, they widened to find the taller girl's shoulders shaking. Not with tears or fear, but laughter. And it completely distressed Peridot because, _why_? Had this girl finally, _finally_ lost her mind?

Cerulean orbs crashed into her like waves upon the sand when they could fully open again, and even though the biggest of cocky smirks tugged thin lips up almost sadistically, there was no hiding the confliction going on within. Lapis was faking, and she was damn good at it if you didn't see her eyes. But here she was, showing it all to Peridot.

And Peridot respected that, in a way even she couldn't fully comprehend at the given time.

Lapis shook her head, sighing and pushing the bangs back from her face in that all too familiar, telling way that had the younger girl's eyes narrowing. She took a step forward, rested her hand gently against Peridot's bared forehead, and Peridot couldn't help shuddering. Because that palm was so warm and so honest and so perfect. She was left cold when it departed.

"Thanks, Peri," Lapis murmured.

And Peridot could only watch in silence as she was left alone once again.


End file.
